A writing scrapbook

I asked Brett to compare sex to masturbation but he was annoying and  immediately wanted quantification. What kind of sex? Because good-relationship sex is like  your fave fancy restaurant while masturbation is like eating “trash”. This metaphor grew, with one night stands being like fish and chips, hookers being like ice cream and vigins being like mush. I will explain:

Realtionship sex - Restaurant

You go regularly and they have a wide menu that you never get bored of. The service is good and the food very well done. You always leave satisfied.

One night stands  - Fish and chips

Always available, you can usually find one even when you’re desperate. They are, essentially, always the same. Even when you find a good one you don’t usually care enough to actually try to find it again.

Sex with friends - Gingerbread house (stay with me on this one….)

Sex with friends is like being in a house that works perfectly well as a house. Then one day you wake up, look at your ceiling and realise it’s MADE OF FUCKING GINGERBREAD!! You can EAT that!! Sure you may have to risk your shelter and perhaps you’ll only nibble at the edges when your drunk but you’ll never look at your house as just a house again.

Hookers - Ice cream

You can get fancy ice cream from places where they garnish it and tell you it’s Italian but you can’t really forget that you can get essentially the same thing from a van on your street corner for a fraction of the price.

Virgins  - Gruel

Well, Brett says gruel and I say “Mystery meat”. Either way it’s the sense of someone doing something for the very first time and they really don’t know what they’re doing. It COULD be good but there’s a higher proportion that what you will eat will make you sad.